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And so it begins a tragic story for happy people, who will read this text and will thank God they never experienced anything of what youre about to read. You know its always a sad story that is going to touch your heart, its always the tear that wets the paper, and that sinks into the mind like a raindrop sinks into the dry soil. And yet, how could sorrow be explained, without being distorted through the eyes of the storyteller? Could it be said at all objectively, breathing in it the true spirit of the pain, the freshness of the young dying soul, its grief and its wounds And can you tell a story without feeling a thing? Can you read it without feeling a thing? Can you be the human youre not? Can you be like the gods emotionless, rational, loving everything and nothing? Are Gods to be envied? Nope Is there a story that has never changed you? Is there a story that didnt make you think even for a second? If yes, forget them. The rest are priceless jewels in the ocean called life. I once read somewhere the following: You can cross an ocean without wetting your legs, but you cant cross your life without wetting your eyes. I shall not comment * * * Snow had already gathered in huge piles across the street, blocking the pavement, preventing people from walking freely. The air was chill and cold. The snowflakes lightly flying like birds feathers no particular way, no purpose, no direction, just living for the few minutes before joining the rest and becoming nothing but white cold mass. Some children were playing in the snow, throwing snow balls on each other, their ringing voices echoing into the silent town. * * * - Father, how does a man fall from grace? Why, father, why people hurt each other? - Son, these are things you will eventually find out on your own, things I dont want to tell you now - But I want to know now, I need to know now please, father He thought for a second and thought better of it. - OK, Ill tell you but promise me, you wont tell your mother he winked. The kid smiled and waited for his fathers answer. - Son, people love each other, they just dont know it yet. They love each other, hate each other, hurt and help each other . They are confused, left alone, living with the false hope that there are Gods who protect them, live like cattle, needing a leader, not realising that everyone of them can lead the rest. People need to love, need protection, need warmth, need to know that they are needed, that they are someone, that they hold some values, that they can take care of whats precious in their live. People are complicated creatures, and as strong and powerful as they seem, they are as vulnerable as a newborn. People fall, son. They do, and when they fall from high places it hurts even more, and the wounds are impossible to heal. So, son, climb high, but wear a rope with you, do not hurl yourself in life without something to save you when you slip. - What do you mean by rope? - You know, someone or something you can hold onto. God is said to be a saviour, but the truth is that people save each other. No God takes this function from us. Do not trust any deities. And yet, do not deify any human being, friend or a lover. That makes you his/her slave. Although thats what love means Strange, people want to be slaves to their beloved one, they are in love with the shackles around their wrists - Dad, you talk about love, but how about if you want to hurt someone - Thats a tricky question, but Ill tell you. You can swear, you can curse, you can use insulting words, but one single thing can devaste everyone. No one is that strong against it. - What is it, father? - Can you guess? The child thought for a minute. - Hatred? - No, thats too simple and shallow. Pause. - I dont know, dad, tell me - Indifference. - What do you mean? - Indifference its when you do not ackowledge the other person, when he feels like hes invisible, when he feels like hes nothing. Indifference, son, is like a dagger in the heart, like a spit in the face, like a fire burning the remnants of a broken soul it can destroy anyone when used properly. Use it against your biggest enemy, and never against a friend! Never! - I dont have friends said the child with sadness upon its face. - Do not grief. Youre young and you still cannot measure the limits of a friendship. You cannot even distinguish friendship from any other relationship. Can you define the word friendship? - I guess its when two people like each other, and theres a mutual trust. - Only that? - Maybe there are other things, but that summarizes it. - In a way youre right, but its only a per cent true, since its not the complete definition. You want me to tell you? - Of course. - Friendship is what most people confuse with close relationship and liking. But its much much more than that. Its when you love the person with no regrets, with no complaints, when you dont want to change him/her, when you realise you love their good and bad parts of their character. Can you do that? You can get easily annoyed if someone irritates you, but thats just him. HE is what he is. And the fact that he irritates you means that he is being himself in front of you, he doesnt act like someone else, he doesnt act the perfect friend. And if you do not ackowledge the fact that hes completely honest then you dont deserve such a friend. The kid sunk in thoughts - Then it began I love, dad, I love. * * * How small is the dividing line between love and hatred? Is there such at all? * * * - Walk with me * * * - Do you like poetry? she asked. - Of course, I even write poems sometimes when I feel like it. - Tell me one she insisted. He hesitated for a while, but then decided not to resist. - OK -- and he begain. - Embrace me, I beg you, embrace me, Hold me tenderly, Love me, Face me, Feel my small heart beating -- It's only a moment, it's fleeting... Catch it! Don't let it go forever, for we can't be together -- ever, We have this moment burning us with fire, Which makes the life in us transpire, and I cannot let this happen again, I'll do what I have to -- your life to gain -- I'll die once more, but you would live, I want one thing in return -- your love, Then I would rest reacefully in Heaven, not Hell, So no one would say 'She was an Angel that fell' She didnt say a thing, listening to the ringing echo of his words in her mind. - Its beautiful and sad. - Of course it sad, I have never been happy in love so that I should write happy poems. And you know, happyness kills the poet. Only in sadness he can produce true art. Art is for emotional people, who are easily touched by the unfair destiny. If youre happy you feel no need to write anything, you only consume whats been already felt and created. Youre passive in your happyness, while the sufferer is active in his sorrow. - Isnt it the other way round? - Why would it be? - I dont know. I think that when youre happy you enjoy your life and do everything you can to keep it that way. And when you suffer you only cry - No he smiled. When youre happy you do nothing to change it, because you dont want to lose this happyness, right? And when youre sad you struggle as hard as you can to leave this grief behind you, you fight, and eventually you grow. Fighting another battle you reach a higher level in your personal humanity scale. Happiness doesnt make you more or less humane, it only provides stable way of living, where nothing is to be fought, because you have everything you think you need. No emptiness to be filled. * * * - Kiss me * * * - Why are you so distant today? he asked. Have I hurt you somehow? She didnt answer. - I need you to tell me, you make me suffer! She looked into his eyes, they were wet with tears. - Do not cry she said. - But I need to know why you keep yourself so distant from me. If I did something wrong I am sorry, it hasnt been done on purpose. Please forgive me! - Its nothing you did. Actually thats the reason. - What do you mean? - Youve been passive. - What? he asked confused. - Passive in your happiness. You thought you had me and therefore you did nothing to really KEEP me. And thats why you lose me. - No! I cant lose you! Not now, not yet!! Please! - Its not for me to decide - Whose decision is it then? - My hearts. * * * - Stay with me * * * - The sky is dark tonight. - Yes, starless emptyness - Its like my heart, love. You sucked the light out of it - Im sorry. I loved you. - Yes, but I didnt, because I still love you. - Dont worry, youre almost there. - I dont want to be there. - But thats the road you took in the very beginning. - I will create my own path. - You cant, the sky is black * * * - The sun rises. - Yes, clowds are flying. - Flowers are waking. - Eternity - Shining - Dew bringing life. - And hope. * * * - Talk to me Are you asleep? No youre gone. Gone with all the dreams, with all the fears and hopes, gone, love, gone for good
2008-02-18

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